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hey, folks. you've stumbled upon YET ANOTHER blog by AJ JOHNSON.
rules: don't break anything, don't steal anything, don't hack anything, and... oh yeah... don't get mad if i say or do something that you don't like.
capice?
good.
It's really moments like this when I miss the good old days when we were all little.
One day, because I missed the good old days so much, I looked for it.
When I found it on YouTube, I nearly cried.
And if I nearly cry while finding something on YouTube, then YES, I must share it.
And something like that does NOT happen often.
Now that I've given a little backstory about this video, I have to tear it apart. Sure, I'll make lame jokes, but who am I again? Right.
So, here goes.
0:18 -- I wouldn't think he has a mind. He's a fountain pen.
0:21 -- "He has no fingers, but you know what? He doesn't even care." ROTFLOL
0:28 -- "And what he has to teach us is... beneath the clothes he doesn't wear" is CANDY, CANDY, CANDY!!!!! Just kidding. Ink is beneath the clothes he doesn't wear, because he's a FOUNTAIN PEN!! (This piece seems to personify inanimate objects a. lot., and I love that.)
0:35 -- "He says he lives inside of us, and that he's always here". O.O Even ME?
0:38 -- That movement he made after drinking the ink (?!) was scary. It scared me when I was younger, it scares me now.
0:41 -- QUICKEST CHANGE OF CLOTHES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
0:42 -- Who turned out the lights? And HOW did that hat somehow fall on the pen's head. Clearly, pens don't have hands. Hey, singing person, I'm a little bit scared of your friend here.
0:46 -- When the pen takes a bow, clearly he is more anthropormorphized--he has a mouth, and the tip of the writing part (I don't know what else to call it) is his nose. Thank goodness the animators didn't give him eyes. I think that would have scared all of us.
0:51 -- So the lights are on in ANOTHER part of the room.
0:53 -- MARCHING PENCILS!!! THEY NEVER STOP SMILING!!! AND THEY'RE ALL IN A LINE!!! Why don't they come like this at Office Depot? ("I want it now!" - Veruca Salt)
0:54 -- And they fist pump. I don't watch Jersey Shore, but apparently fist pumping has been popularized by the
1:02 -- WHOA, pretty good for having no legs. That is a very flexible fountain pen.
1:06 -- "It doesn't cost a lot to get inside our dreams", unless you're paying a psychiatrist.
1:11 -- Guess he's feeling the beat. I mean, he's doing some weird arm-roll thing, and his EYES are CLOSED.
1:19 -- "Marching Pencils can be Fun!"
1:22 -- If marching pencils can be fun, then what can a pen that takes a bow be? Um... freaky?
1:25 -- I don't want to be an airplane flying high up above the clouds!
1:30 -- The sky is RED! Looks like some company's been freely dispersing their toxic gases into the air lately. Does this take place in the future?
1:32 -- "HEY! Make the airplane look like you!" Because I really have that face. Thank you, singing guy.
1:42 -- "But be sure to make it go so fast that buildings lean as you fly by!" Erm... that would cost millions of dollars in damage. I don't think they want that. I mean, the sky is already red and filled with chemicals. >.^
1:43 -- "MAKE A BIG RED TELEPHONE!!!!" Hilarity. I think the singer is so excited about us making a big red telephone in our imaginations because nobody's been calling him lately. Besides, his best friend is a fountain pen who is apparently affiliated with some marching pencils and a random thing that likes to dance a lot. I wouldn't be calling him at all.
1:52 -- "And later it becomes a big red train that calls long distance down the track!" BAD. PUN. (And a little hypocrisy on my part--I can recognize bad puns but I still make them. I'm just TERRIBLE, aren't I?)
1:56 -- "Now let's create some butterflies to teach us what they know". Will they teach us how to fly? (In which the butterflies lead a group of children to a balcony. You know the rest.)
2:01 -- Remember, kids, butterfly dust over a kitchen counter means
2:03 -- "Kitcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"
2:05 -- They must really like orange juice.
2:08 -- "They might even cook us dinner!" Sorry, man. It's pizza again.
2:19 -- Marching pencils again. I think that when we go somewhere other than the desk, the marching pencils make their rounds. That's why they all end up in that same place during the whole "we can be anything" part.
2:30 -- I'm not going to lie, that pen can dance. And change his clothes within seconds.
2:39 -- "I've got swagga."
2:46 -- Don't be alarmed, children. That policeman is wearing an upside down tomato on his face because he can't find his real nose. And his mouth, well... he doesn't have one.
2:47 -- I just noticed that randy-looking cat in the other room. (Yiiiiikes.)
2:48 -- You know, if I walked outside and saw something like that, I'd go back in and never leave the house again. This is a very brave policeman.
2:51 -- Perfect place for the Wilhelm scream. Don't know what that is? Look it up.
2:55 -- Those are not "floating colored lily-pods". Those are SMARTIES.
3:00 -- Chocolate Audrey Twos!
3:03 -- "Make him fly into the sky into a giant face". I think the singer, and the animators have truly lost it.
3:08 -- "Riding on an ocean wave, falling down from outer space!" Yep, they've lost it.
3:11 -- "WOW! Even SPOONS get hungry!" No stuff, Sherlock! >.>
3:18 -- Spoons Raiding Refrigerators! Film At Eleven!
3:24 -- "Let's make a paper airplane." You know, that is the most normal thing this singer has said in this video. And what is it with him and planes?
3:28 -- "One that really ZINGS!" What about a normal paper airplane? I'm not in the mood for zing today.
3:29 -- "It can even fold itself! Flapping its own wiiiiiiiiiings!" Red Bull gave it wiiiiiiiiiings. Or, the guy who's singing had Red Bull and maybe a few other things and got a little too much wiiiiiiiiiings.
3:30 -- "Now let's go to YOUR room!" Noooooooooooooo, sir.
3:41 -- What is that thing playing the drums?
3:46 -- "[Where every toy that night has to life all on its own] it's an almost scary SIGHT!" Almost? Almost?
3:47 -- There go those pencils again. I wonder if they ever get bored.
4:00 -- Dancing pen again. That is pretty remarkable.
4:05 -- And the guy who feels the beat AND has swagga is here again, too.
4:10 -- What does he think he's doing?
4:16 -- "Anything is possible NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!"
4:20 -- Bow.
4:23 -- And this thing is over.
'Nuff said.
Glad I can share with you.
AJ
biography: My name is A.J. JOHNSON, I'm 15.5 years old and I'm the one they warned you about. You can usually find me among a humbly-sized group of friends, singing/acting onstage, in a classroom, on my 13'' MacBook Pro (with the pink cover!!), or drawing something. You can also find me on facebook, youtube, formspring and on the twitter. I live in Wherever You're Not, USA, with my grandma, grandpa, mother and great aunt. Oh yes, and I have a cat. Her name is Shadow. I don't have rhythm. I like to think that I'm really an alien from Mars who hatched out of an egg with multi-colored stars on its shell, I can laugh at my own jokes (so nobody else has to), I try to be 100% perfect 100% of the time, I'm single and I don't really care for mingling (you can get sick that way), I dream in color (true story!), I have a morbid fascination with diseases and viruses, my mood changes with the weather, I don't like pepper on my eggs, and... I tend to bump into things. That's all.
i am: tenacious, independent, a little clumsy, boisterous (when appropriate), anemic (true story), artistic, kitschy, campy, just plain strange, sweet (without being saccharine), multi-faceted, poetic, thoughtful, tomboyish, taciturn (when appropriate), smart, a little mysterious, a little bubbly, a little bit flamboyant, an avid reader, an avid writer, an avid singer, an avid actress, an avid gamer, fluffy, bouncy, chaotic, not easily pleased, easily amused, easily angered, many other things you'd have to dig deeper to find, etc.
i like (in no particular order): science, art, theatre, random words, animals, going green (I try), jazz, electroclash, folk, bossa nova, J-Pop, picopop, classical, early animated films (1919-1940), stop-motion animation, urban legends, viruses, bacteria, fungi, thanatology, eschatology, physiology, claymation, surrealism, Dadaism, pop art, doodling, Maruchan Yakisoba, Nissin Chow Mein, singing, anime, manga, classic Nickelodeon, classic Cartoon Network, classic Disney Channel, Vans, Converse, craft stores, learning new things/ideas/concepts, cupcakes, lip gloss, scented highlighters, scented markers, watercolors, cheesecakes, electronics, decomposition (esp. the black putrefaction stage), non sequitur, slant rhyme, Pokémon, graphic tees, rainbow things, when my hair is a mess, juice boxes, onomatopoeia, linguistics, semantics, Moog synthesizers, theremins, macabre, black comedy, silent films, ice-cold sodas, Girl Scout cookies, sugary cereals, retro video games (1981-1999), pink, purple, teal, mulberry, chartreuse, those iMacs with the fruity colors on the backs of them, HTML, konpeito, Pocky, Hello Panda, [adult swim], IFC, alliteration, chocolate, strawberries, pineapples, peaches, green grapes, hanging out with friends, The Maury Show, the academic part of school, mittens, gloves, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, doughnuts, miniatures, Takara Barbies, Licca-chan, Blythes, Kewpies, circuit bending (even if I don't know how), screaming, Sanrio, Charuca, Tokidoki, Morning Glory, wind-up toys, cheesy talk shows about the morally depraved, pointy things, etc.
i don't like (in no particular order): long walks on the beach, teen magazines, tabloids, things with aspartame/sucralose/cyclamate (weird, because this blog is called artificial sweetener), hearing people tell me that I snore, romance, annoying girls, pop music, R&B music (esp. old school R&B, it's like they should play that stuff in torture cells), rap/hip hop music, floral prints, intravenous drips, mall rats, not being able to fit under the bed anymore so I can tell the dust bunnies secrets, the idea that I'm too old to believe in the bogeyman (I do), not being able to order off of a kids' menu anymore, being sick, when people type LiKe DiSsS!!!111 and think they're cool while doing it, when sodas go flat, when sodas get warm, when sodas explode when you try to open them, The Olsen Twins, crying, not doing something perfectly the first time, being caught off guard, not knowing what I'm doing, those crazy dreams where you're in public and what's worse--you're naked, social events, racism, intolerance, txtspeak, 1337-sp33k, dancing, school dances, when kids make fart noises in class (you know who you are!), the Twilight series and all of its merchandise, baked goods that were in the oven for too long, overpriced items, long lines at the grocery store, people who yell at you with megaphones even though you're right in front of them, when you can't beat your friends at Pokémon, Kraft Cheese, vampire fever, Bieber fever, when people don't read expiration dates on foods, sour milk, Radio Disney, KIIS-FM, etc.
To apply, you must send me an e-mail to (this address) containing...
+ Your name (pseudonyms will also work).
+ Your site's name
+ Your link button URL (if you have a link button)
+ A reason why you want to become an affiliate with me (optional)
PLEASE, no sites with dirty pictures or other... bad... stuff. If anyone sends me stuff like that, they may get reported. Think before you e-mail me. But otherwise, I will accept anyone. Thank you. :-)
May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010