paraphile crocodile

What do they want?

2010-11-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

"NOW SET DOWN THE PIZZA, AND BRING ME SUM CHIKIN!"
"THO' IT ON TOP! AND MAKE IT FINGER LICKIN'!"
"GUACAMOLE!"
"MEAT BALLS!"
"WHIP CREAM POURIN' LIKE WATERFALLS!"

Ted Koppel doesn't get it.

BUT I DO.

MY AUDITION FOR RENT = TOMORROW~!!

WISH ME LUCK AND HAPPINESS, EVERYONE.

I NEED IT, FOR THIS COMPETITION IS FIERCE, FIERCE, FIERCE.

FIERCER THAN A TIGER.

FIERCER THAN JEFFREE STAR.

AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, THAT IS FIERCE.

LOVE,

A.J. JOHNSON

(MORE PIZZA MADNESS)
(Weee like pitsa! In the morning! Weee like pitsa! Every day! Weee like pitsa in the evening! Weee like pitsa! Anyway!)

LSD naptime, cute kids dressed up as Mario, screaming, uncontrollable laughing, cat torture, Big Time Sensuality, and CANDY.

2010-10-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

A Goblin Lives In Our House!

In Our House!

A Goblin Lives In Our House!

All the Year Round!

He BUMPS

And He THUMPS

And He STUMPS

He Knooooooocks and he Rooooooooocks And He Rat-tles At The Locks!

A Goblin Lives In Our House!

In Our House!

A Goblin Lives In Our House!

All the Year Round!

Yes, folks. It's Halloween Time at my place and in my neighbourhood, and lordie me, we're freaking PARTEEYING at the chateau de AJ.

My Halloween was characterised by naptime, Lancôme Juicy Tubes in Exquisite, yelling, screaming, laughing, cute kids dressed up as Mario, selling of souls, CAT ABUSE, hugs, candies, more cat abuse, dressing in drag, singing Kelis' Milkshake at the top of our lungs, terrorizing people, corset tying, fishnets ripping, ghost costumes ironically dying, brawling, and pizza.

And more cat abuse.

How was YOUR Halloween?

Any naptime? Any Juicy Tubes in a deliciously GOREJUS (YES, I spelled gorgeous wrong on purpose--not to be cool, but because it's that gorgeous) shade of mauve? Any cat abuse? Any singing? Any dressing in drag? Any candy?

No?

None of these things?

Well, I must say that my Halloween kicked major tail.

It was trés fun, trés hilarious, trés decadent, trés weird, trés everything.

And I had fun with my friends.

Nobody died, nobody went to jail, nobody got ran over by a car, nobody got yelled at.

I just had fun.

^^THIS IS HOW MUCH FUN I HAD! ZWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

And, before I go, I must say...

LIZZIE WAS HERE AND RULES THIS ENTIRE BLOG. NOT AJ. LIZZIE DOES. YOU KNOW ITS TRUE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER.

Actually, that was my friend LIZZIE (リッジエ) who needs a blog desperately. Meow meow.

Anyway. A fun night this was.

And now, off to study AP Euro.

We've got a test tomorrow.

Party In The Hallway.

LOVE,

THIS IS THE NIGHT, NOW IS THE TIME

2010-10-22T13:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, as you know (if you read yesterday's post) was my Dress Rehearsal for Pride and Prejudice. Of course, after every run of the show, our director gives us notes. Very important notes. But before he gave them, I gave my take on the show, and I called it Pride and Prejudice Notes: The Fail-licious First Run (Dress Rehearsal).

And it goes a little something like this:

AJ says...

"Two! Words! Très AWFUL! I'm surprised they [the small audience we had, who must have loved us very much--after all, they were teachers] didn't throw tomatoes. But, at least nobody died, the set didn't spontaneously come crashing down, and NOTHING caught on fire."
Grade: D+ (~~We've got a heckuva lot of work to do~~ WE'RE SCREWED!)

My director says...

"Well, for a first run, it was good... but when we think of the fact that we run tomorrow [which is today], it's SCARY!"

Ain't it a good thing that me and my director are (kinda-sorta) on the same page?
And we weren't alone. A friend of mine was wondering who in the heck said the name of The Scottish Play, because our dress rehearsal was essentially a train wreck in Victorian clothing.

AND NOW, tonight is THE NIGHT to present JANE AUSTEN'S PRIDE AND PREJUDICE ON SOME STAGE SOMEWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES.
I feel like we're not particularly ready.
My insides feel like Jell-O!
My brain wants my mouth to say, "Are you sure there isn't a way we can postpone this? Are you sure there isn't a way we can just tell the oncoming audience, 'We're sorry, but Pride and Prejudice has just been cancelled, and has instead been replaced by three hours of a jar of Hellman's Mayonnaise'?"
Because let's all face it:

Compared to the various blocking errors, dropped lines, stuttered-out lines, missed entrances and missed light and music cues, backwards chaises, and disagreements about whether or not the doors to the set should be open or closed during a certain scene, THREE HOURS OF WATCHING A JAR OF MAYONNAISE REALLY DOES NOT SEEM THAT BAD AND IS ACTUALLY REFRESHING!!"

(isn't it a little ironic how the jar says, "BRING OUT THE BEST!"?)

Somewhere, a little voice is telling me, "we'll do fine! we'll do okay! this'll be a great show!"
I don't know if it's my conscience, or if it's really my mind changing itself, but I kind of want to tell it to be quiet because its sickening optimism is killing me.
Then again, my sickening pessimism can be annoying someone else.

I'll try to brighten up.
I promise.
Truthfully, I'm psyched!
I mean, I know we can pull it off!
And I don't think we'll be able to pull it off if I don't change my attitude.
And so, I will be happy.

And I WILL BREAK A LEG!

LOVE,
AJ

overworked. (a haiku in four parts)

2010-10-21T12:30:00.000-07:00

I

day's not half over
lack of sleep will kill me soon
tick tock goes the clock

II

somehow i keep on
like a robot, always on
where is my off switch?

III

i probably failed
so many quizzes and tests
malfunctioning 'bot.

IV

don't sell me for scrap
just turn me off, i beg you
my head will explode

V
tired as i am
i can never get enough
of this mecha life.

DRESS REHEARSAL TODAY, PLAY TOMORROW.

TELL ME TO BREAK A LEG. OR SOMETHING.

LORD, TIME FLIES. I REMEMBER WHEN I AUDITIONED FOR THIS THING

NOW IT'S ALMOST OVER.

YEE-HAW.

love,

A.J. Johnson

my monsters

2010-10-17T17:37:00.000-07:00

My team in Pokémon Black:

(from left to right: Jaroda, Kenhorou, Gochiruzeru, Kojondo, Warubiaru and Pendora)

My team in Pokémon White:

(from left to right: Daikenki, Wargle, Rankurusu, Roobushin, Zoroark and Doryuuzu)

Expect changes to this.
If no changes come by the time the games come out,
expect me to talk a whole lot about these guys.
You'll all hear about their evolutions, too.
Lordie.
Pokémon are just like kids.

LOVE,
AJ

clinically proven to make you smile (i'm alive)

2010-10-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

I'm watching Wheel of Fortune right now,
and this lady named Lolita (why would you give any child this name?) was solving the toss up puzzle.
The puzzle looked like this:

S_LF-
PO_T___T

Anybody could tell (I know I could) that the puzzle was supposed to spell out Self-Portrait.

What did Lolita say when she solved the puzzle?
She said:

"SELF-POTATO!"

Yes, everybody. Self-potato.
I'll leave that to simmer.
I'm not going to lie, though--that was a grief inducing moment.
When I heard her say that, I sat in front of the television with my mouth wide open.
Then, somewhere (I guess from deep down inside), I got the strength to say, "you. imbecile." at the TV.
Sadly, Lolita (I'm still laughing at her name) did not hear me.
Not like I wanted her to, or anything.

...and oh, look, they're giving away a Winnebago.
I want a Winnebago.
Heh. Winnebago.

I never understood why the word Winnebago was funny to me.
I never understood why during Jeopardy!, The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune they show Poli-Grip and Sea Bond Commercials.
It's even worse during The Price is Right--they either show this one:

"So powerful that you can hear conversations from across the room!"
Dirty, dirty eavesdroppers... XD

this one:

I'M HAVING CHEST PAINS!!!
AH'VE FAWLIN'! AND AH CAN'T GIT UHP!
Powerful words.

or this one:

I don't really have anything to say about this except for...
DIABEETUS.

I'm serious, too.
I don't understand why I think commercials like that are funny.
I know for a fact that I shouldn't think so.
My mom says that I think it's funny because I'm not old yet.
She's probably right.

As you can see, I'm in a very random mood.
(As if I had any other mood.)
But it's a good thing because now you know that I'm alive, and I've made it through the many near-:headsplosion: moments that my life has been very famous for giving me.
Yes. I've juggled a play and scads of homework for the past month (almost) and I've made it through with no brains all over the lovely green carpet.
No autographs please.
Fromage Fran is acceptable.
nom nom nom

So, Pride and Prejudice goes up next week.
Next Friday, to be exact.
My goodness, it's been that long already?
And rehearsal goes until 8:00 PM for the most pat of this week.
Boogie woogie.
I'm psyched, and tired. At the same time.
I'm going to bed.

LOVE,
AJ

(P.S.: Notice I've revamped the blog? Drop me a line and tell me if you like it.)

(from left to right: Jaroda, Kenhorou, Gochiruzeru, Kojondo, Warubiaru and Pendora)
MY (tentative, maybe) POKÉMON BLACK TEAM ~~!!
Don't they look swell? Can't wait to battle with these guys.

YoYoYoYoYoYoYoYo...

2010-09-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hey.
It's been a while since I've posted on here,
thanks to school, and other delicious stuff that's been feeding my brain lately.
And so. I'm here.
Posting.
Talking about something that makes me laugh/cry/whatever.

With that said...

GENERATION V OF POKÉMON IS ALIVE AND KICKING!!
and they brought the fugliest Pokémon with them.
I can't just call them ugly because that's a horrible understatement.
If you don't believe me,
click here, por favor.
And after you're finished looking there,
please come back here
and read the rest of this post.
Then, after you're done reading, drop me a line
and tell me what you think about this set of 156 ~~abominations~~ monsters.
Also, tell me if you'd rather have these guys to be the new set of Pokémon, because I sure as heck do.

Anyway. On the Pokémon design front, they've failed MISERABLY.
And they've even failed miserably with the theme song.
Think I'm lying?
Think they just wouldn't do that?
Listen:

It sounds very promising from 0:12 to 0:45 (that slow parts gives me chills in such a way that says, "It's been fifteen years, and we're still here") and then for me, it just FALLS APART.
Then again, it's a remix.
A remix for who?
THOSE WHO NEVER PLAYED THE ORIGINAL GAMES AND THEREFORE HAVE NOTHING TO COMPARE THE THEME SONG TO.
In other words, not me.
I'm still going to play.
Play for what?
FOR SCIENCE.
And yes, I will be telling everybody about this new Pokémon journey, in a new region, with new (ugly) Pokémon, with new music, with new trainers, with a new DS (hopefully, I want to play on a pink DSi) with a new everything.

Since I have nothing else to say on the front of news, Pokémon or otherwise, I'm finished.
Goodbye.

LOVE,
AJ

boogie woogie bugle boy

2010-09-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

She looks like she's enjoying that bread...
a little too much.
It's probably not even that good.

In other news...
I GOT IN PRIDE & PREJUDICE~!!
BOOGIE WOOGIE!

Love,
A.J.

epistaxis isn't fun

2010-09-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

epistaxis

isn't

fun.

Neither is losing to a gym leader in Pokémon Diamond.
(I lost to Maylene, but we won, so it's alright...!)

(NO, I'm not playing Platinum.)
(I don't even have Platinum.)
(I know I'm probably the only one on the planet who doesn't have Pokémon Platinum.)

I just beat my rival after kicking Crasher Wake's arse, and now, it's off to lake Valor Lakefront to kick Team Galactic's arse.
Actually, it's off to the charger for my DS, because it's dying.
And then I'm going to play some more.
Teehee.

So, a friend of mine (yes, the same one who told me that Victini was based off of usagi ringo) decided to post this picture on my Facebook wall:

Don't worry, I said WTF too.
Yes, out loud, and in full.
Thankfully, nobody was home.
These are apparently the evolutions for ~~Tsutaaja~~ Smugleaf, ~~Pokabu~~ the bacon that cooks itself and ~~Mijumaru~~ Blue Mammalian Disgrace/Abomination.

"OH, COME ON!!!"

They couldn't possibly be this bad...
can they?

My friend thinks they can, but luckily, they can actually be Fakémon.
If they are the Fakémon I want them to be, then I'll buy the game, and enjoy it, and have a wonderful, blunderful time playing it whenever it comes out in the USA.
Another friend of mine will be getting the Japanese version when it comes out on the 18th.
Yes, he can read Japanese. He's awesome.
I hope I can get him to do a review of it on this blog.
:-)

IN OTHER NEWS...
I got through the first week of my second year in high school

alive, well and unharmed.

Sophomore year (so far) is more fun than a barrel of gibbons.
Happy face.

I just auditioned for another play recently (Pride and Prejudice), and I hope I get called back.
Cross your fingers for me!

Love,
A.J.

hey joe! you wanna give it a go?

2010-08-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

click on the image to enlarge. do it, you know you want to.

In case you couldn't tell, that picture is of a few people standing with a giant Hot Pocket.
Wearing sunglasses.
Smiling.

Clearly, this is at a Hot Pockets event.
If this is so, then why is the Giant Hot Pocket Man wearing a HOT POCKETS logo across his front?
Maybe it's so that people don't mistake him for a Giant Smiling Rectangular Prism Man Who Wears Sunglasses (And Wears Them Well).
Good call, AJ. Good, good call.

I wonder what flavor he's supposed to be.
(~~Double entendre~~ Human flavor, probably.)

In other news...
WE'VE BEEN DUPED! BAMBOOZLED! WE'VE BEEN SMECKLEDORFED!
That's not even a word, and you agree with me.

THE LION KING WASN'T MEANT TO END THE WAY IT DID.
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW (YES, THE WHOLE THING) AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL SO DANG CHEATED.

On second thought, if you somehow have lived your life without ever seeing The Lion King (how?!), please don't watch this video. It'll ruin it for you. And then when you see how it really ended (hopefully soon), you'll probably feel more cheated than I do.

If you have seen The Lion King, and you know how the movie ends, please proceed.
Otherwise, this is A.J. Johnson, signing off because she doesn't want to ruin anything for anybody.
Goodnight.

Truthfully, I would've loved to see The Lion King end this way.
I mean, Scar burning to death?
Yes, please.
And, of course it's too dark for a Disney film.
That's what makes it good--when a Disney movie breaks all facets of the Disney archetypes, it's automatically a (excuse my language) damn good movie.
One day*, I hope they'll put away the sugary teen pop, the annoying CGI, the horribly failed attempts to reach out to today's children and teenagers (they didn't get me [a child/teenager of today], so yes, they have failed mis-er-a-bly) and make something that's a little darker and edgier without looking stupid while doing it.
No, it's not easy to be or make something darker and edgier without looking stupid while doing it.
(I should talk.)
Especially when they're raking in millions of billions of dollars on this overproduced saccharine dreck they decide to call 'Disney magic'.
No, I'm not stuck on Nostalgia Island, I just know that the quality of Disney films/merchandise/television shows/anything (not Pixar films, they haven't disappointed me yet) has taken a definite nosedive.
Flames are welcome, but I won't fight you.

Now. Would anybody like seconds on the roasted lion?

LOVE,
A.J.

*In the case of Disney, that 'one day' will never, ever come. Sad, sad face.

Visit:

peep peep birdie

2010-08-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

MTV: Mindless Television.

Come on, turn off Jersey Shore and stand up because you know you agree.

This is when MTV was cool, kiddies:

Yea.
Good stuff.
Sure, Jersey Shore is about misfit young adults (oompa loompas), but at least Beavis and Butthead aren't real so we don't have to worry about the future of this planet.
Trust me, if they were real, we would have to worry.

That's all, folks.

Love,
A.J.

A scientific concept difficult to understand, but easy to apply.

2010-08-22T00:11:00.000-07:00

What happens when you cross an Aipom

with a piece of broccoli?

You get this:

La-deez and gentlemanges, I present to you...

BROCCOLIMON...!!

I mean,

YANAPPU...!!

Woo to the hoo.

Love,
A.J.

Perfect for meats, soups, sauces, spaghetti dishes and clam dips.

2010-08-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

music: melonball bounce - raymond scott
original video: (click here, please.)
video edited by: yours truly, my dearest darling.
description: cells multiplying to the tune of Raymond Scott's "Melonball Bounce".

:-)

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
I'm typing in small print because it's the wee hours of the morning and therefore it is acceptable to do so.
Everybody's gone to sleep, so it's kind of like I'm whispering, really.
Whisper, whisper, whisper.

You can tell I'm bored, it's written all over my face... the face that's hiding behind a pink laptop typing away in a land I call Wherever You're Not, USA.

If you can see me, then you must be bored with looking at my face all the time. Find someone else to look at before I find out who you are, you stalker!
If you can't, good. Keep reading.

Luckily, school starts soon.
I'm happy to know that I'll be back where all the books and kids and smart things are in just a matter of weeks.
No, sir, I don't have a fever.
Take the NyQuil away.
Thanks.

GOODNIGHT.

LOVE,
AJ JOHNSON

meow meow.

2010-08-16T00:30:00.000-07:00

Mr. Colonel Sanders is having a little bit TOO much fun feeding chicken to that random lady.
And that random lady is having a little bit TOO much fun eating that chicken.
I don't understand why she has that look on her face.
I know that you know that I know that KFC is actually terrible.

Chef Boy-ar-dee is here to steal your soul.
He'll replace it with canned "ravioli".

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST FEED MEEEEEE?!?!?!?"

....And little Billy was gone forever.

Love,
AJ Johnson

quail quail.

2010-08-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Quail.

That's all.

love,
A.J. JOHNSON

(P.S.: you get me this and this, and this too--I'll love you forever, trust and believe.)

he likes it, hey mikey.

2010-08-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

It's been too, too long.
School starts in three weeks.
Who's happy?
I'm happy.
The rest of you don't have to be.
I'll be happy for EVERYBODY!

I'm currently sitting here listening to Death Race - Mignon (cool, cool song).
I'm also currently sitting here marveling at how the legendary Pokémon, Victini, got its design.

A picture, because you need it and I haven't said anything about Victini before:

Victini
Fire/Psychic
#000 (Isshu Pokédex)
#??? (National Pokédex)

A friend of mine told me this, and I quote:

The new legendary pokemon Victini is based on a method of cutting apple slices to make them resemble rabbits.

What do you think I did?
I'll tell you.
I promptly said, "oh hell no!" out loud.
Well, not really out loud because there were adults present,
but I'll admit I was thinking "oh hell no!" when I read that.

And then I told him to tell me it wasn't true.
He told me it was.
I told him that was awful and that it was living proof that they were running out of ideas*.
I looked up a picture of Victini.
And then I looked up usagi ringo, or cut apple slices that look like rabbits.
I compared the two.
And then I blogged about it, and put a picture up for all of you, like this:

(left: Victini, right: usagi ringo)

So, they're now basing Pokémon off of... apples.
I'm laughing, but not because I think it's funny.
I'm laughing to keep myself from crying about the fact that they've started to base their Pokémon off of fruits.
What's next, a doughnut Pokémon?
I shouldn't give them any ideas.

THE END.
YONG YONG.

^^I've got to make arrangements to have this played at my funeral. YONG YONG.

LOVE,
AJ

(*Actually, the real "living proof" showing that the people who come up with Pokémon designs were running out of ideas is right here. That's right. Home. Appliances.)

(P.S.: Visit my youtube account. No, it isn't a webshow. I can't describe it. You'll just have to go there and watch, watch, watch.)
(P.P.S.: Want to smell like a funeral home? Then THIS is the body spray for you!)
(P.P.P.S.: You really thought I was kidding, didn't you?)

Click here to play Super Mario Bros. 3!
You'll be glad you did.

for the chil'ren.

2010-08-04T15:27:00.000-07:00

Recently (about five seconds ago), I read this article, which basically said that Pokémon Black and White is only going to feature the Pokémon from Generation V until the player receives the National PokéDex.

So, for a very long time in Black and White, we won't see any of the Pokémon from #001-#493. And then when we receive the National Dex, we'll see quite a few familiar faces. That'll make for some interesting dialogue.

(battle scene, complete with music)
Wild Pikachu appears!

Pikachu: Pika!
AJ: Hey, where have you been?
Pikachu: Hiding.

(AJ runs.)
Got away safely!

I know why they're doing this. They're doing this because it's time for the kiddies to start playing Pokémon, and they have to make it fresh and new and exciting. No, not me. I've been playing since the times of Red and Blue (although Yellow was the first Pokémon game I got), so I can't be classified as one of the "kiddies" because I know the drill and have been playing for a very long time. The kiddies are the ones who don't know what a REAL Game Boy is, the ones who don't really understand what Pokémon is and the ones who don't know how to catch a Pokémon yet and have to be taught.

That's why all route numbers are set back at 1.
That's why the Isshu region is located very far away from Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh.
That's why they're introducing new methods and ideas of gameplay--to appeal to the newbies that are being handed their first handheld Nintendo.

I don't really know (or like) how I feel about this whole "new" thing right now because I know it's not for the veteran players anymore.
Even if Junichi Masuda says that it's supposed to liven up the series for everyone, I know it's really for those who haven't been exposed to Pokémon.
It's for the kids and anybody else who's just starting Pokémon.
It's a good idea.
It's good for them.

Does this mean that they'll bring back the slogan, Gotta Catch 'Em All? Because now, that just seems feasible, and a job that's easy to take on.

Congrats, Game Freak.
You've got them all hooked for a lifetime.

Love,
AJ

More big, big, news.

2010-08-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

I have some more big news.

I, AJ JOHNSON HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BEATEN BLUE OF THE KANTO REGION.
IN OTHER WORDS, I HAVE ALL SIXTEEN BADGES IN POKEMON HEARTGOLD VERSION.
I HAVE ALSO CAUGHT THE SNORLAX.
NO LIE.

None of you know how happy I was when I heard the "defeated Gym Leader" music.
It was the most beautiful music I'd heard in my life.
I thought I wasn't going to beat him--his lv. 60 Pidgeot was getting ready to wipe the floor with me. But no. It didn't.
My Ampharos (lv. 53) took it out with ThunderPunch.
KA-POW~!!
And I won.

What's next for me?
Taking a break from HG for a while, and working on SS, which I haven't really played so much.
I got HG first, so that's why I've played through a lot more of it.

One day, I'll have an extra-strong team capable of beating Red by the end of the game.
(which may not include my Jynx, because she doesn't grow very easily...)
Watch this video--I think you'll all see exactly HOW strong Red's team is, and HOW strong my team needs to be in order to beat him.
As you know, some of my Pokémon aren't even halfway there, so I've got a long, long, long, long way to go before I even get half as good as the trainer fighting Red in that video.
I'll get there.
:optimism:

And my viral infection is slowly but surely going away.
Those beasties are finally understanding that they need to leave me alone.
Hee hee!!
(thank you, NyQuil... Cyndaquil... Qwilfish...)

LOVE,
AJ Johnson

Generation V Pokémon Of The Moment:

Shikijita!!!
(Looks like a female counterpart of Stantler.)
(Looks like a Normal-Type Pokémon. Another one. :grumble:)

i do not enjoy viral infections or electric birdies.

2010-08-02T19:04:00.000-07:00

So. I went to the doctor's office today and found out some big news!

I HAVE A VIRAL INFECTION AND FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS I'M GOING TO BE HEAVILYHEAVILYHEAVILY MEDICATED WITH DAYQUIL AND NYQUIL! CAN I GET A WOO HOO?!

(hoo woo is also acceptable)
(no bills higher than $20.00 accepted after 10 PM)

That's why I'm still sick.
It could be worse.
I could have infectious mononucleosis (mono) or something.
But I don't.
So, that's good.

So, in the meanwhile, on my road to recovery, I'll still be watching trashy TV because there isn't anything else on, looking on Bulbapedia for more B/W updates, eating Top Ramen (I finally found some Roast Beef and Creamy Chicken flavored ones, EUREKA!), perusing Yahoo! Answers for stupid questions (laughter IS the best medicine, you know) and finishing bags and bags and bags of Halls Cough Drops, because my tonsils look like giant mushroom caps from Super Mario Bros., white spots and all (no eyes, though--sorry).

No, they do not give me the power to get tall or strong enough to break bricks.
Sorry to burst everyone's bubbles.

Don't send flowers.
I'll live.

LOVE,
AJ

i'm not afraid anymore.

2010-07-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'm just sick, that's all.

Remember when I said that I was afraid that Pokémon Black and White would be the very first sign of generational rot that EVERYONE can see?

Forget that.

I'm extremely excited.

And I'm not afraid anymore.

LOVE,
AJ

take your sabbatical from your radical fanatical battle sit on your saddle and rattle rattle rattle

2010-07-30T12:04:00.000-07:00

LEMONCAT!

That's all.

LOVE,
AJ

sinkin' in the bathtub (1930)

2010-07-30T00:43:00.001-07:00

The very first Looney Tune ever. :-)

LOVE,
AJ

hilarity ensues

2010-07-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

3:52 --

Maury: Now, I want to tell you something--this is impossible. Nobody is scared of something like ketchup. Are you afraid of ketchup?
Louise: I love ketchup.

(audience laughs)

Another good one at 4:13 --

Louise (after saying she works at Burger King): You want mustard? That's too bad! Go to McDonald's, I don't know what to tell you!

:-)

In other news, I'm horribly sick.
My tonsils are swollen and my nose is stuffed and my head feels like it's full of cotton balls, and what's worse is that we don't have any orange juice so I have to drink the Red Flavored Kool-Aid (it's not tropical punch, it's just RED because it doesn't really have a flavor--it tastes like the color red), and there's nothing good on TV except for daytime/afternoon TV with Life Alert commercials dispersed a little too generously at breaks. And if it's not a Life Alert commercial, then you bet it's for those Sea Bond denture strip thingies or Norm's Diner.

Sure, the Life Alert and the Sea Bond commercials make me laugh (and they're REALLY not supposed to do that, considering that Life Alert and Sea Bond may become my future one day), but seeing this lady

and hearing this song sung by ever-trembling voices

OVER AND OVER AGAIN kind of make me feel like I'm going off my rocker. I mean, I know EVERY word to the Sea-Bond commercial, and the way the lady says 'all senior citizens should have LIFE ALERT' is beginning to turn into serious serious serious nightmare fuel (YES, I've been on tvtropes, so what?). I really want to sleep, but I can't--so in the meantime, while I'm awake, I want some good, hilarious television. Sadly, all that's on Nickelodeon are the new episodes of Spongebob, and after that, iCarly. >.< (:lies here wishing she had Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD, but wishing sequence is broken by a hacking cough:)

Don't send flowers, I'll live.

LOVE,
AJ

"∞XO@#*~"

Black Jynx is here to tell you that
49 DAYS
are left until the Japanese release of Pokémon Black And White!!
That's all. She doesn't know how many days are left until the USA release.
That's okay, Black Jynx. Nobody knows yet.

If life gives you lemons...

2010-07-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

--make real lemonade and not that powdered kool-aid mix
--get ticked off at life because life didn't give you sugar and water to make good lemonade with
--THROW THE LIMES ASIDE AND READ THEM, BUT ONLY THE REALLY GOOD ONES! (If you don't know what I mean, you need to find some other blog to read)
--write a (now that I read it again, godawful) haiku about the real lemonade you made and drank

(a haiku)

it's dark in my room

drinking sweet, sweet, lemonade
makes it sunny bright.

On a completely unrelated note,

Notice anything different about me?
No, I have not asphyxiated,
I have glasses now.
In other words, I am bespectacled.
:-)

ditties of the day

unus. Secret (Take You Home) - Kylie Minogue
duo. Mr. Softy's Balloon Race - Gorillaz
tres. I'm So Excited - Le Tigre
quattuor. Lovesick - Lindstrom and Christabelle
quinque. Filthy Gorgeous - Scissor Sisters
sex. The Box - Thermostatic
septem. Orange Mecanique - Stereo Total
octo. Erotic City - Berlin
novem. What's A Girl Gotta Do? - Basement Jaxx
decem. Apple Pie - Coco Electrik

BREAKING NEWS!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!
Apparently, there's been a fire at a local bondage club, and they found a man dead in all the debris and mess.

Guess they were enjoying the hot wax a l-i-t-t-l-e too much.

Teehee. ^_^

"I am made of paper."

"HUG ME."

"This isn't such a good idea."

"What happened last night?"

"Pikachu! I'm actually based off of my original 1996 Sugimori art!"

(::red and green sprites, FTW::)

THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!!

LOVE,
AJ

big, big, news.

2010-07-24T23:28:00.001-07:00

I have some big, big, news.
Not little, wittle, pittle, news.
But some big, big, news.

My big news is this:

I, A.J. Johnson, after thirty-four hours and twenty-nine minutes have successfully beaten the Elite Four in Pokémon HeartGold with her team:

lv. 41 Ampharos (male)
(デンリュウ)
-ThunderPunch
-ThunderShock
-Focus Punch
-Discharge

lv. 51 Ho-Oh (neuter)
(ホウオウ)
-Extrasensory
-Punishment
-Fire Blast
-Sacred Fire

lv. 45 Meganium (male)
(メガニウム)
-Magical Leaf
-Synthesis
-Razor Leaf
-PoisonPowder

lv. 35 Pidgeotto (female)
(ピジョン)
-Fly
-Twister
-Gust
-Quick Attack

lv. 35 Jynx (female)
(ルージュラ)
-Ice Punch
-Avalanche
-Shadow Ball
-Blizzard

lv. 42 Gyarados (male)
(ギャラドス)
-Surf
-Whirlpool
-Waterfall
-Hydro Pump

Sure, we weren't the strongest of teams.
I mean, there is a very high (almost pathologically high) diversity of levels here.
Sometimes, I'd send out a lower-leveled Pokémon and there'd be an instant OHKO.
At times, I felt that we really weren't going to make it through.
I thought we were all literally going to get our arses kicked.
But we made it, and not without some crowning moments of awesome--two of which stand out the most:

My lv. 35 Jynx KO-ing Lance's lv. 49 Dragonite with Avalanche. I couldn't help but say, "Go, Jynx!"
My lv. 41 Ampharos saved the day. Ampharos was in the yellow HP area, and Lance's Charizard was getting ready to make his move. However, Lance's Charizard was getting ready to make his move, but MISSED. Ampharos attacked with Discharge, and Charizard fainted. I won the Elite Four.

I am now the champion of Johto League!
w00tie w00tie w00tcakes.

So, what now?
Well, now, I'm off to Kanto where it all began, and now I'm going to see some VERY familiar faces and hear some VERY familiar music.
Or maybe I'm just going to sleep.
I've got church tomorrow.

Love,
A.J. Johnson, New Johto League Champion !!

(P.S.: I'm so very happy.)

let's just go down memory lane one more time, while we're young and clever

2010-07-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

This video is from the same VHS tape my art teacher had when I was in elementary/junior high school. You know, the one that also had the dancing fountain pen and marching pencils and other gobbledygook that I blogged about last time? Yeah. All of you who went to elementary/junior high school with me (you can't hide!) can't possibly have forgotten this one, either. And if you have, then watch it. And read my commentary.

0:04 -- That doo-wop music reminds me so very much of Little Shop Of Horrors. :-)
0:06 -- Okay, so there's some guy... jaywalking! Somebody call the police. And by the way, he has a really, really, tall shadow.
0:10 -- The camera pans over to the jaywalking man--one can only hope for an oncoming car, a fade to black, and a message saying: "Remember, kiddies, use the sidewalk!"
0:11 -- Noooooo, this is not a public service announcement about walking in the sidewalk when crossing the street. But look at the main character's FACE. Yowza! He looks inebriated! Completely SOZZLED! In other words, he looks drunk. This could definitely be a PSA for anti-drinking. "Remember, kiddies, don't drink, or else you'll aimlessly walk through the street like this guy!" And he needs to get his teeth fixed, too.
0:12 -- His pupils bounce. Great, bouncing pupils.
0:21 -- That has got to be the blandest "Sale" sign I have ever seen.
0:25 -- "Chop, chop! Got to eat a record, uh huh!" ROTFLOL!
0:27 -- And the record store has no door. Shoplifter's Paradise at night? Oh, you know it.
0:30 -- Because of that bland For Sale sign, he's the only one in the store. The people who own Gourmet Records need serious marketing classes.
0:31 -- And, he takes the record out of its sleeve, and eats it. And nobody loudly yells, "SIR!" What kind of world is this?
0:32 -- Apparently, the record tastes like a pineapple on a beach wearing a sombrero (?) playing the ukelele.
0:34 -- I just noticed that crawling starfish on the sand, and the sailboat in the background.
0:38 -- RAHAHAHAHA.... surfing bananas.
0:42 -- And oh no, giant wave! The pineapple doesn't even run away! PRICELESS!
0:44 -- Whooooooooooooooossssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh!!!
0:46 -- .... I would've done that a long time ago. And he just throws it aside? Now you REALLY need to get the manager!
0:47 -- And he bites into another one! Joy.
0:50 -- And this one tastes like... a very polygonal "person" playing with an electric guitar. I wouldn't have even picked that record. Don't these records have labels?
0:52 -- Distortion Room from Pokémon Platinum, all the way.
0:56 -- The polygons are just shredding away at their guitars as if it's nobody's business. They think they're good. Think, I said. Not know.
0:58 -- FLYING SQUARES!
1:02 -- I'm scared.
1:03 -- I agree, Mr. Inebriated Man.
1:06 -- And he throws that one aside, and then bites into another one. Just pick something, will ya? Or come in knowing what you want! I don't know how I would deal with this customer. Speaking of dealing, does anybody even work here?
1:07 -- This one tastes like anthropormorphised Smarties (or M & M's, any kind of chocolate button) sliding down a piano while another one plays the saxaphone as his non-anthropormorphized friends come out of it. Weird? Yes. I wonder what the producers were on when they made this.
1:14 -- Such old computers. They almost look like eMacs.
1:15 -- Did it seem like that red Smartie/M & M/chocolate button thing was snapping at us? It only happens for a split second, but it's like, hey, man--chill.
1:20 -- Favorite part. "Oh noe yoou diddin'!"
1:21 -- And the cycle continues.
1:25 -- This one tastes like some very strangely-built individual playing the timpani. Yummy.
1:27 -- Trumpet Guy should be the world's hottest celebrity.
1:30 -- I can't tell which parts are the guy's hands and which parts are the mallets to play the xylophone with. Hilarity.
1:38 -- Seriously, that guy needs to find something he likes to listen to. Or eat.
1:41 -- Free form jazz. More hilarity.
1:42 -- If this were a real store, he would've been forced to pay for all those CD's he's taken bites of and thrown aside and kicked out a long time ago.
1:45 -- Hehe. Drowning pineapple. What do they have against fruit?
1:46 -- He just doesn't like anything, does he? He's just like that little Mikey kid off of Life Cereal.
1:52 -- He STILL hasn't given up. Talk about tenacity. Give that man a cigar.
1:54 -- This record tastes like vaguely human life forms (?) clapping their hands in unison. By now, if I were him, I would've just left.
1:59 -- What are those?!
2:06 -- Why are their hands sticking up like that?!
2:17 -- And they have only one leg. Brilliant.
2:20 -- "YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!" No, no, no.
2:30 -- A lot of repetition.
2:41 -- Is he trying to raise the roof or reach the roof? And what is that white slug-like thing swimming past him?
2:44 -- It's about time he liked something. Of course, nobody made him pay, like they should've. I don't think you can necessarily call the records "gourmet", because, well, the guy went through like, half of their CD library. I think he had the munchies. Or something.
2:50 -- Aaaaand, fade to black.

But one more thing.

That's all.

LOVE,
AJ

a trip down memory lane.

2010-07-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Not too many people know about this video, unless they had it on VHS like my art teacher in elementary/junior high school did. And if you went to the same elementary/junior high school that I went to (you all know who you are, don't lie), seeing this again is a major trip down memory lane. It's a trip down memory lane because I remember we'd all BEG our art teacher to put it on for us. And when she did, we'd be very happy. We knew almost all the words to every song.

It's really moments like this when I miss the good old days when we were all little.

One day, because I missed the good old days so much, I looked for it.
When I found it on YouTube, I nearly cried.
And if I nearly cry while finding something on YouTube, then YES, I must share it.
And something like that does NOT happen often.
Now that I've given a little backstory about this video, I have to tear it apart. Sure, I'll make lame jokes, but who am I again? Right.
So, here goes.

0:04 -- The singer's 'real good friend' is a fountain pen?
0:18 -- I wouldn't think he has a mind. He's a fountain pen.
0:21 -- "He has no fingers, but you know what? He doesn't even care." ROTFLOL
0:28 -- "And what he has to teach us is... beneath the clothes he doesn't wear" is CANDY, CANDY, CANDY!!!!! Just kidding. Ink is beneath the clothes he doesn't wear, because he's a FOUNTAIN PEN!! (This piece seems to personify inanimate objects a. lot., and I love that.)
0:35 -- "He says he lives inside of us, and that he's always here". O.O Even ME?
0:38 -- That movement he made after drinking the ink (?!) was scary. It scared me when I was younger, it scares me now.
0:41 -- QUICKEST CHANGE OF CLOTHES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
0:42 -- Who turned out the lights? And HOW did that hat somehow fall on the pen's head. Clearly, pens don't have hands. Hey, singing person, I'm a little bit scared of your friend here.
0:46 -- When the pen takes a bow, clearly he is more anthropormorphized--he has a mouth, and the tip of the writing part (I don't know what else to call it) is his nose. Thank goodness the animators didn't give him eyes. I think that would have scared all of us.
0:51 -- So the lights are on in ANOTHER part of the room.
0:53 -- MARCHING PENCILS!!! THEY NEVER STOP SMILING!!! AND THEY'RE ALL IN A LINE!!! Why don't they come like this at Office Depot? ("I want it now!" - Veruca Salt)
0:54 -- And they fist pump. I don't watch Jersey Shore, but apparently fist pumping has been popularized by the ~~people~~ orange things that can't classify as human because they've had too much Plastic Surgery to make themselves 'perfect' and cake on the makeup, too. Great. Marching, smiling, fist-pumping pencils that you can't find at Office Depot.
1:02 -- WHOA, pretty good for having no legs. That is a very flexible fountain pen.
1:06 -- "It doesn't cost a lot to get inside our dreams", unless you're paying a psychiatrist.
1:11 -- Guess he's feeling the beat. I mean, he's doing some weird arm-roll thing, and his EYES are CLOSED.
1:19 -- "Marching Pencils can be Fun!"
1:22 -- If marching pencils can be fun, then what can a pen that takes a bow be? Um... freaky?
1:25 -- I don't want to be an airplane flying high up above the clouds!
1:30 -- The sky is RED! Looks like some company's been freely dispersing their toxic gases into the air lately. Does this take place in the future?
1:32 -- "HEY! Make the airplane look like you!" Because I really have that face. Thank you, singing guy.
1:42 -- "But be sure to make it go so fast that buildings lean as you fly by!" Erm... that would cost millions of dollars in damage. I don't think they want that. I mean, the sky is already red and filled with chemicals. >.^
1:43 -- "MAKE A BIG RED TELEPHONE!!!!" Hilarity. I think the singer is so excited about us making a big red telephone in our imaginations because nobody's been calling him lately. Besides, his best friend is a fountain pen who is apparently affiliated with some marching pencils and a random thing that likes to dance a lot. I wouldn't be calling him at all.
1:52 -- "And later it becomes a big red train that calls long distance down the track!" BAD. PUN. (And a little hypocrisy on my part--I can recognize bad puns but I still make them. I'm just TERRIBLE, aren't I?)
1:56 -- "Now let's create some butterflies to teach us what they know". Will they teach us how to fly? (In which the butterflies lead a group of children to a balcony. You know the rest.)
2:01 -- Remember, kids, butterfly dust over a kitchen counter means ~~toast and a glass of orange juice~~ something to clean up.
2:03 -- "Kitcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"
2:05 -- They must really like orange juice.
2:08 -- "They might even cook us dinner!" Sorry, man. It's pizza again.
2:19 -- Marching pencils again. I think that when we go somewhere other than the desk, the marching pencils make their rounds. That's why they all end up in that same place during the whole "we can be anything" part.
2:30 -- I'm not going to lie, that pen can dance. And change his clothes within seconds.
2:39 -- "I've got swagga."
2:46 -- Don't be alarmed, children. That policeman is wearing an upside down tomato on his face because he can't find his real nose. And his mouth, well... he doesn't have one.
2:47 -- I just noticed that randy-looking cat in the other room. (Yiiiiikes.)
2:48 -- You know, if I walked outside and saw something like that, I'd go back in and never leave the house again. This is a very brave policeman.
2:51 -- Perfect place for the Wilhelm scream. Don't know what that is? Look it up.
2:55 -- Those are not "floating colored lily-pods". Those are SMARTIES.
3:00 -- Chocolate Audrey Twos!
3:03 -- "Make him fly into the sky into a giant face". I think the singer, and the animators have truly lost it.
3:08 -- "Riding on an ocean wave, falling down from outer space!" Yep, they've lost it.
3:11 -- "WOW! Even SPOONS get hungry!" No stuff, Sherlock! >.>
3:18 -- Spoons Raiding Refrigerators! Film At Eleven!
3:24 -- "Let's make a paper airplane." You know, that is the most normal thing this singer has said in this video. And what is it with him and planes?
3:28 -- "One that really ZINGS!" What about a normal paper airplane? I'm not in the mood for zing today.
3:29 -- "It can even fold itself! Flapping its own wiiiiiiiiiings!" Red Bull gave it wiiiiiiiiiings. Or, the guy who's singing had Red Bull and maybe a few other things and got a little too much wiiiiiiiiiings.
3:30 -- "Now let's go to YOUR room!" Noooooooooooooo, sir.
3:41 -- What is that thing playing the drums?
3:46 -- "[Where every toy that night has to life all on its own] it's an almost scary SIGHT!" Almost? Almost?
3:47 -- There go those pencils again. I wonder if they ever get bored.
4:00 -- Dancing pen again. That is pretty remarkable.
4:05 -- And the guy who feels the beat AND has swagga is here again, too.
4:10 -- What does he think he's doing?
4:16 -- "Anything is possible NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!"
4:20 -- Bow.
4:23 -- And this thing is over.

I think this video was made for people like me to love as a kid, and then come back and find it again after Lord-knows-how long and be able to make some jokes (no matter how bad they are) about it.

'Nuff said.

Glad I can share with you.

Love,
AJ

early mornin'

2010-07-20T03:14:00.000-07:00

Yes. Hi. Good morning.
I am Fully Aware that it is (currently) 3:14 AM where I am sitting, mainly due to the fact that my computer comes built in with a clock.
:-)

No, I'm not still looking for that Shroomish in Pokémon Ruby.
I've given up for now.
Too bad Generation III games don't come with friend codes or GTS.
Or even Wi-Fi.
I'd gladly give my Wurmple away for one--I don't think I'm too interested in having a Beautifly or Dustox.

But I AM, however, going to try my hand at the Elite Four.
My Pokémon are in their mid/high-thirties to mid/high-forties, so this should be interesting, challenging, fun, and may end well.
Okay, I know.
My Pokémon are severely, severely, severely underleveled, need more practice, and I'm probably NEVER going to make it to Kanto, or to battle that Red kid who can't talk...

Well, here's my team, anyway.
Laugh at me.
Cry for me.
Turn up your nose.
Help me, for goodness sakes.

Jynx (ルージュラ) -- Lv. 34

Pidgeotto (ピジョン) -- Lv. 35

Ampharos (デンリュウ) -- Lv. 38

Gyarados (ギャラドス) -- Lv. 42

Meganium (メガニウム) -- Lv. 44

Ho-Oh (ホウオウ) -- Lv. 49

Okay. You don't have to give me any more disapproving stares. I know I'm screwed out of my mind.
Well, I'll give 'em credit because my team is perfectly balanced between Johto and Kanto Pokémon. So they win brownie points for that.
I don't think they make brownies in the Pokémon world.
Apparently, though, they eat Farfetch'd.
This is news to me--even though Farfetch'd IS a duck, and people eat duck in the real world.
I mean, the word duck is in its Japanese name--Kamonegi literally means wild duck with a spring onion!
Farfetch'd has this onion or leek because it WANTS you to cook it because it knows exactly how pathetic it is.
Just kidding.
I really don't know why Farfetch'd carry onions.
I'm going to hold that thought for now because I'm going into the Elite Four (without saving beforehand so I won't be stuck there), and I'm going to kick some arse, take some names, and hopefully win the championship and move on to Kanto so I can see some more familiar faces.

I'll definitely post back if I win.
I'll even more so be posting back if I lose.
Wish me luck.

Love,
AJ

Update!! Update!! (4:21 AM) -- I lost. I got so far as to Karen's Houndoom when... I lost. That was the Elite Four member where EVERYBODY started missing attacks and being poisoned and confused and that's what hurt us. Hey! I got that far, didn't I? On that ~~measly~~ great team of mine! I was one away from getting to Champion Lance. One. Away. That's very good, in my book. :-) I'm going to keep up the optimism. I won't rest until I win.

Update!! Update!! (5:24 AM) -- I quit this time. I got as far as Karen again, but I finally got very tired and decided to quit. (She would've KO'ed all my Pokémon anyway. I need to come up with a strategy, and fast.) I saved RIGHT before the entryway at Indigo Plateau, so in the morning where the sun comes up and birds chirp and all that, I'll be playing. But for right now, I'm going to say goodnight. And sleep, like normal humans do. :sigh: What you don't know is that I'm playing Pokémon endlessly, trying to get something off of my mind. I'm not going to talk to you about what it is. Do not spam my chatbox or my email asking what's going on with me. You're not privy to that information. My blog is only about the fun things in my life, not the sad/gloomy/heartwrenching things. Sorry. That's the rules. Until next time, everyone--which WILL be in the morning. :-)

ZEKROM (ゼクロム) THE ELECTRIC DRAGON
BA-ZOOOOOM!
I think because of Zekrom, I will be getting Pokémon White.
That is a cool Pokémon, and I can't wait to see it in battle.

return to hoenn

2010-07-19T20:20:00.000-07:00

Today, I restarted my Pokémon Ruby game because I felt like childhood was calling me (quite loudly, too) and because I haven't played a Generation III Pokémon game since lord-knows-when.
Truth be told, I have a love-hate relationship with Generation III because even though it added quite a lot to the entire series, some things from Generation II were lost (i.e., loss of the time function, non-memorable music), but picking it up and playing it again on my pink DS Lite brings back memories of being a youngster playing it on my pink original Game Boy Advance.

:reminisce:

Ahem. Anyway.
I've already reached Rustboro Town, but I'm currently perusing the Petalburg Woods to find a Shroomish (at a 15% catch rate, it might take aaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll niiiiiiiiiiiiiiight).

At least I'm not looking for a Slakoth.
I already know that I will never, ever find one.
Those things are rare, rare, rare.

So far, my team is as follows (from lowest to highest; male names are in blue, female names are in pink):

Wurmple (ケムッソ) -- #265 (NDex)/#14 (HoennDex)
Met at Level: 3
Level - 5
Type - Bug
Ability - Shield Dust (Prevents added effects.)
Moveset:

Tackle
String Shot
Poison Sting

Ralts (ラルトス) -- #280 (NDex)/#29 (HoennDex)
Met at Level: 4
Level - 6
Type - Psychic
Ability - Trace (Copies special ability.)
Moveset:

Growl
Confusion

Poochyena (ポチエナ) -- #261 (NDex)/#10 (HoennDex)
Met at Level: 3
Level - 6
Type - Dark
Ability - Run Away (Makes escaping easier.)
Moveset:

Tackle
Howl

Taillow (スバメ) -- #276 (NDex)/#25 (HoennDex)
Met at Level: 5
Level - 8
Type - Normal/Flying
Ability - Guts (Ups attack if suffering.)
Moveset:

Peck
Growl
Focus Energy
Quick Attack

Mudkip (ミズゴロウ) -- #258 (NDex)/#07 (HoennDex)
Met at Level: 5
Level - 9
Type - Water
Ability - Torrent (Ups Water moves in a pinch.)
Moveset:

Tackle
Growl
Mud-Slap

So far, they're a pretty good bunch.
For such young Pokémon, they're really growing fast (:sniffle:)
Especially Mudkip! I just started today, and he's already at level 9!
Sure, I've dealt with fainting, missed attacks, paralysis and not being able to move, etc.
But they're growing, and that's all that matters.
I'll probably fight (and plan to beat) the Gym Leader very soon.
As soon as I find a Shroomish and level it up a few levels more than it is in the wild (In R/S, Shroomish are usually found at levels 5-6, and the Pokémon at Roxanne's Rock Gym span from levels 14-15 [!!] so that gives me an idea of where ALL of my Pokémon should be), I'll be there, ready to fight, fight, fight!

NO MERCY!

Hehehehe.

Goodbye.

Love,
AJ :-)

how do i know it's sunday (1934)

2010-07-18T12:10:00.000-07:00

ditties of the day:
unus. LOSE YOU - PEACHES
duo. INCLINED TO VOMIT - ADULT.
tres. RAY GUN - THE BIRD AND THE BEE
quattuor. THE BEER - KIMYA DAWSON
quinque. BAG OF SPIDERS - SLUMBER PARTY

"that's all," says the red gyarados.

LOVE,
AJ

pokémon black and white -- my current thoughts

2010-07-18T01:07:00.000-07:00

Pokémon Black And White:
September 18, 2010 [JP]
(61 more days!)
Who's excited?
I'm both excited and scared.
This could possibly be the best Pokémon game ever created.
This could also be the first readily visible sign of generational rot.

That won't stop me from getting one of the versions, though.
By the time it comes out in the USA (preferably near my birthday, NoA!), I'll probably have faced my fears and will have ended up liking it.
I've never, ever felt so wary over a Pokémon game.
Usually, when there was a new Pokémon game coming out, I'd screech in happiness and wait on pins and needles just to find out new information.
Now, if there's new information, I don't necessarily jump up and down, I just say okay and move on.
Maybe it's because I'm starting to think there's way too many Pokémon and I'm afraid they're going to be running out of ideas shortly if they haven't already.
Or maybe it's because the game tactics seem to be changing, especially in battle.
HG/SS was the last game to have the original battle layout with non-moving sprites.
I think for the original battle layout to be trashed for something new is a little mean toward the older players.
Sure, I'm basing my point off of nostalgia, here, but the original is all I know.

There's one thing, though, that I really hope they don't do.

I really hope that they do not teach you how to catch Pokémon, as if it's your first time ever doing so.
They did that in HG/SS,
At first, when I was forced to sit through Gold teaching Lyra (>.<) how to catch Pokémon for the first time, I was ticked off. I didn't even watch it. Then I realized exactly why they did that.
They had that tutorial in the game because...
not everybody grew up playing the originals.
Not everybody was at their local department store around the date of October 15th, 2000, fighting with people to get their hands on a copy of Gold or Silver.
Thus, not everybody knows how to catch a Pokémon, because it's been ten years since the original games and by now it's bound to be somebody's very first time playing Pokémon. Ever.

Sure, it's patronizing.
Sure, it's sad.
But the little kiddies must have their fun too.
'Nuff said.

I just hope they don't patronize us older players too much.
I hope they don't somehow integrate it with Facebook.
If they do that, they'll have lost a dedicated fan.
That's all.

-AJ

nostalgia-fest...........!!

2010-07-11T01:21:00.000-07:00

I found something in my bedroom drawer today. Something that made me smile and want to cry at the same time.
No, it wasn't a shrunken head.
It was... my [very] old Kid Pix Deluxe 3 CD that was meant to work on Windows 95, 98 and NT and OS 8 and (I think) 9. In other words, it was the Kid Pix where you got to blow everything up when you wanted to erase it.
Did it work?
No.
I knew it wouldn't work on my MacBook Pro because it's too old. It didn't work on the family Windows computer, either. So, my nostalgia fest was kind of murdered.
It was kind of resurrected when I started to play Software Mackiev's Kid Pix Deluxe 3X, an enhanced version of Kid Pix Deluxe 3 for Mac OS X.
I made this:

Modern Life á la AJ (2010)

It was fun to make.

Today was the day I realized how much I really miss Kid Pix.
I really, really, really, really miss it.
Not just the original Kid Pix Deluxe 3.
I seriously miss Kid Pix Studio Deluxe, the Kid Pix that I was introduced to, with the Paint Zone and Moopies and Stampimator and Digital Puppets and the Wacky TV.
I remember using that program when I was a wee bairn in elementary school on the Apple iMacs with the fruity colors on them. That was all we used to make computer art. That, and Art Dabbler, which I don't really remember or care about.
That version of Kid Pix was, and still is my favorite. Sadly, I don't have my CD anymore.
If I did have it, I don't think it would work anyway because Apple Computers can't run Classic anymore, and Kid Pix Studio Deluxe is a Classic program.
>.< If Kid Pix Studio Deluxe could still work on MacBook Pros, I'd make something like this:

:-)

When compared to Kid Pix Studio Deluxe and Kid Pix Deluxe 3, Software MacKiev's Kid Pix Deluxe 3X doesn't really cut it.
I know, they've enhanced it, given most things a new look, integrated iLife into it, and made it easier for younger kids to use (in my opinion), but they did one thing I really didn't like.

They've taken away the dynamite eraser.
That was in the original Kid Pix Deluxe 3.
That was in the original Kid Pix.
That was Kid Pix's defining feature.
When you wanted to erase your picture, you could throw a stick of dynamite at it, and it'd be gone.
They've now replaced it. With a WATER. HOSE.
Because washing away pictures solves. everything.

You can tell I'm bitter about this.
.
.
.
But still. Kid Pix Deluxe 3X doesn't really match up to previous efforts because I'm too hung up on the past. If I were introduced to Kid Pix later in my life and I ended up starting with this version, maybe I'd like it more because I wouldn't have known any different.

I know.
I'm a nostalgia freak.

Enough about this, though.
I'm going to bed now, because my astigmatic eyes are getting very droopy and I'm beginning to yawn. And my fingers hurt. And I'm probably going to end up with bags under my eyes. And it's the weeee hours in the morning and somebody's going to be in here asking me why I'm not sleeping yet.

And so, because I'm avoiding all of that hullabaloo, I say to all of you, adieu.

LOVE,
A.J. JOHNSON

(p.s.: kid pix: the early years by craig hickman)

［(－－)］Zzzzz...

goodnight!

my cat

2010-07-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

say fancy feast.

awake at night.

sleeping during the day.

she's a cool cat.
she's a funky feline.
=^ ^=
meow meow.

LOVE,
AJ

(untitled post, for a reason)

2010-07-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

video: "happy smiles"
person in video: me
music: rhinestone eyes - gorillaz

Good.... afternoon. I had to take a pause after I said 'good' and before I said 'x-time of day' because I just woke up. Yes. I'm just waking up. Right now.
:facepalm:
Come on, all of you.
Do the same.
(one by one, every reader :facepalms:)
Thank you. You can take your palms off of your faces, because as the video shows, it's a very happy day today.
Now.
There is one thing, my brothers and sisters, that cannot be duplicated, cannot be replicated, and cannot be facsimilated! That one thing is... THE TOASTER! You know why?

Because, you know what they say, all toasters toast toast.

I want school to start soon.
I miss classes, and homework, and reading, and discussing, and asking...
(I'm really not kidding, either. School is actually one of my favorite places.)
I wish I really didn't have all this time on my hands and I had to be somewhere or turn something in or be somewhere in order to turn something in.
>.<
A little over a month to go.
My school starts in August this year.
I wonder why. It didn't last year.
(Or did it? I'm not trying to add suspense here, I just can't remember for the life of me if it did or not.)
Whatever.
I'm ending this post now because I just can't think even though my mind is full of thoughts of all flavors.

LOVE,
AJ

in which you all laugh at my amazing man-repelling skills

2010-07-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

Omegle conversation log: 2010-05-25
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Me: hello
Stranger: lets f***
Me: let's not and say we did.
Me: ^_^
Stranger: Why not?
Me: i don't want to.
Stranger: how rude
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wahahaha. That'll be the very last time I EVER (correction, EVUR) go on Omegle for anything.
Even if it produces results that are as funny as this.
^_^
'Nuff said.

That's all.

LOVE,
A.J. JOHNSON

*#!@Y?

2010-07-07T10:15:00.000-07:00

the light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of a fast approaching train

I'm sitting here, wondering what to write about today.

Hmmm.............
.
.
.
.

I got it!

(cue swell of majestic, dramatic music)

TODAY, I WILL WRITE ABOUT ONE OF THE BEST TELEVISION SHOWS EVER TO HIT UM, TELEVISION.

And that is....
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!
It comes on [adult swim], almost every day (?)
It's not for kids, but it's still full of those sweet, golden, WTF moments that TV seems to be lacking.
Sure, all shows have their WTF moments from time to time, but this show is riddled, crawling, permeated with them.
And I love all of its fifteen-minute glory.

Here is an example of what goes on during the show:

Strange? Yes, sir-ee.

Another one?
I don't care if you said no, because here it is.

If you all knew me personally (some of my readers actually do), they would know exactly why I would enjoy a show like this.

I like it because it's random and because it's not humor you really have to think about and/or pick apart to get to the punch line.

In fact, there really is no punch line. It's just 100% un-con-ven-tion-al hi-lar-i-tee.
I'm saving up money to buy the DVD box sets, so I won't have to wait until after-hours just to catch some of this goodness.
'Nuff said.

In other news....

I know I'm late, but the new main cast for Pokémon Black and White: Best Wishes! has been revealed!!

Yes, we recognize Ash/Satoshi, Pikachu, Team Rocket, Meowth and Umbreon, but clearly, there's some new folks in the crowd.

I kind of want to fix that new girl's hair.
And Koffing has wings?
(actually, that's a Coromori)
That little spiky-headed thing is adorable.
I see the secondary evolutions for Mijumaru and Tsutaja.
What's with the mustachioed man? He looks intimidating.

Looks like a very promising new anime.
I'll definitely watch it when it comes out in English.

That's all.

LOVE,
A.J. JOHNSON

(p.s.: spagett)
(p.p.s.: candy tails)
(p.p.p.s.: all the food is poison)
(p.p.p.p.s.: kitty cat man)
(p.p.p.p.p.s.: pussy doodles)
(p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: i sit on you)
(p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: i love you, too)

boogie woogie

raspberry dawn.

2010-07-05T18:55:00.000-07:00

I AM A FAITHFULLY LOYAL BMSR FAN, UNTIL THE DAY I MEET MY UNTIMELY(?) DEMISE AT THE HANDS (WHEELS?) OF A FALLING ICE CREAM TRUCK.

THAT IS ALL.

DITTIES OF THE DAY:
unus. RASPBERRY DAWN - BLACK MOTH SUPER RAINBOW

duo. SILVER SCREEN SHOWER SCENE - FELIX DA HOUSECAT
tres. ONLY A SHOW - I MONSTER
quattuor. NEUROTICA - HK119
quinque. SEX SHOOTER - COCO ELECTRIK
sex. TOMBSTONE, BABY - PEACHES
septem. PIRATE JET - GORILLAZ
octo. MAN RESEARCH - GORILLAZ
novem. DEATH MACHINE - BRUCE HAACK
decem. SING, SANG, SUNG - AIR

boogie woogie.

zoroark likes music too.

LOVE,
A.J. JOHNSON

new look, same great papery taste you'd get if you printed out this blog and tried eating it.

2010-07-03T10:50:00.001-07:00

Hey. As you can see I've heavily, heavily, heavily remodeled the place. No more purple Pac-Man ghosts in the background, different art at the top of the page, welcome graphic, etc.

I personally, love it.
It's kind of a throwback to when I was crazy-in-love with neon colors, super-fast electronic music, drag queens and other things that weren't all that great to be crazy-in-love with.
(Anyone who knows me personally WILL remember those days.)
Sure, I've changed quite a bit, switching neon colors with more subdued colors, super-fast electronic music with more downtempo stuff, but I chose this blog layout because it just looked something along the lines of cool and all over the place.

So, most of you who know me personally and read this blog know that I was gone for a week because I was at some camp with some girls at some beach.
Yes. It was girls-only.
It wasn't entirely terrible.
Sure, it definitely had its "I'm-done-with-this" moments
but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
:-)

I'm still extremely glad to be home where civilization is.
I'm also glad to be with my family.
And my computer.
And my iPod.

Cheers.

-AJ JOHNSON

perfect day, no lie.

2010-06-27T00:20:00.000-07:00

swimming like a manatee
and
hanging out with the cool cats
and
playing ninja
and
being the first to get out
and
getting massacred in SSBB like it's nobody's business
and
living
and
laughing like loons
and
joking
and
randomizing
and
popsicles
and
smiles
and
sunshine
and
monkeyshine
and
love
and
being the sole piece of oestrogen
.....
this is really what it's aaaaaaaaall aboooooout.
i mean, my hair still smells like chlorine.
the memory is burned (for lack of a better and non-painful word) into my nostrils.

today (more like yesterday, considering it's past 12 am) was a day when i didn't need television to give me ideas on what life should be like,
because i felt that all i really needed was right there today.
i don't need to have my own web show, be the vice president of fashion company, lead a double life as a pop princess, or lead a very different double life with a little more drama and problems and "oh $#!+" moments in it.
i need to enjoy life as just a kid.
a strange kid, sure.
but a kid.
today, i realized how much fun it was to splash people and throw things, and play.
it's more fun than being famous and/or knowing the hottest gossip in order to smear people with it.
it's more fun than living a life of debauchery.
i know.

i'm exhausted from all that fun and swimming and conversing and sunshinefuntime.
sad thing is that i can't go to sleep.
i came home, fell asleep, woke up three hours later to get a glass of milk
and could not keep my eyes shut for five seconds since then.

that's also how life is.
so far, i like it.

IN OTHER NEWS,

(SPRITES COURTESY OF FLOATZEL.NET)
POKÉMON BLACK AND WHITE RELEASE DATE:
09/18/2010 [JP]

Which game will you get? What starter will you use? Tell me!

Love, lemonade and happy days,
A.J. JOHNSON

I want to eat lunch with...

2010-06-25T18:44:00.001-07:00

Patrick Warburton!!
And yes, he has to wear his The Tick costume.
This picture screams fgsfds.

Goodbye.

love,
A.J. JOHNSON

(p.s.: what am I supposed to say here?)

beetles, lightly toasted

2010-06-24T23:22:00.000-07:00

click beetle, clack beetle
by mary ann hoberman

click beetle, clack beetle
snapjack black beetle
glint glitter glare beetle
pin it in your hair beetle
tack it to your shawl beetle
wear it at the ball beetle
shine shimmer spark beetle
glisten in the dark beetle
listen to it crack beetle
click beetle
clack beetle

pinsir (カイロス) and heracross (ヘラクロス) are beetles, too.

i've been told that i am a human.
circumstances in my life make me kind of unsure sometimes.

LOVE,
a.j. johnson

I LOVE ルージュラ!
black jynx does exist.

:-)

2010-06-20T16:47:00.000-07:00

"Hell no."

I HAVE MY FIRST (and currently, only) AFFILIATE!!
:dances, terribly:

-AJ JOHNSON!

Morning Musings

2010-06-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

Good morning, everyone.
.
.
.
.

unus. I am going to be eighteen in three years, and I still don't know what college I want to go to or what I want to do with my life.
duo. Three years is actually, very soon.
tres. I hope nobody ate my stroopwafels.
quattuor. I wish that I could hear birds chirping and have the sun shine every time I wake up.
quinque. Then again, the minute I heard the birds chirping and felt the burning sun on my face, I'd be very angry if that woke me up.
sex. I'll just keep the blinds closed.
septem. My hair is a mess. Cool.
octo. I feel like turning on the TV now.
novem. Why should I? There's nothing on.
decem. Another morning.
undecim. We're out of cereal, aren't we?
duodecim. It's a little pathetic how I get on the computer seconds after I wake up.
tredecim. My stuffed animals are staring at me. Do they know something I don't?
quattuordecim. Why is my door open? Last time I checked, it was CLOSED.
quindecim. It's the poltergeist, isn't it?
sedecim. I am not interested in pho king. ^_^
septendecim. Chocolate sounds really good right now.
duodeviginti. You mean to tell me they made a BRADY BUNCH MOVIE?!
undeviginti. AND A SEQUEL, TOO?!
viginti. This is madness.
viginti unus. This is SPARTA!!!
viginti duo. I wonder what my old history teacher from my old school would say.
viginti tres. He probably wouldn't say anything about it. He'd probably laugh in disbelief. Like I am right now!
viginti quattuor. I need help.
viginti quinque. And chocolate.

LOVE,
A.J. =]

the just plain wrong, the just plain weird.

2010-06-19T23:28:00.000-07:00

To my knowledge, the word "pho" is pronounced like "fuh".
This restaurant's name is Pho King.
No lie.
I mean, it says it on the sign.
Right there.
Say pho, the way it's pronounced. And then say king.
Riiiight.
I suggest that someone goes into this very restaurant,
and yells (bonus points if they walk up to one of the waiters),
"I AM NOT INTERESTED IN PHO KING!"
and walks away as if nothing ever happened.
(Note: This is the part where hilarity ensues, and ensues in the form of loud laughing in the parking lot.)
If anyone is courageous enough to do this, please, for the love of peanut butter, tell me.
And I mean it.

.
.
.
.
Does it match the drapes?
(sfx: clang clang clang whoop whoop whoop)

:takes a bow:

Sorry. I had to.
I really, really, really did.

If you readers are counterfeit-toy savvy (like me), you will know that this is clearly not official Disney merchandise.
After all, I like it.
I think it's adorable.
That's how you REALLY know it's not real Disney merchandise.
If I could find these anywhere, wholesale, I'd buy twenty of them and have them strewn about my room.
Not all fake toys are this cool.
The only one that comes close is the swearing Pikachu, that says a questionable phrase when you spank it.

And yes, I would buy that, too.

In other news,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALEJANDRO!

love, peace, marshmallows, angry ladies and counterfeit toys,
A.J. JOHNSON!!

(P.S.: For those who know that I was going to be out of town for part of this week/weekend, I'm home now.)
(P.P.S.: A pooh friction is very interesting. I agree with this insightful statement.)
(P.P.P.S.: goodFREAKINGnight)

I'm happy too, Crazy Gideon.

divide/multiply, link buttons, there's something wrong with esther, etc.

2010-06-16T17:16:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: HERR BAR - CLARK
Yes, that is me in the video.
That is my doppelgänger, JA nosnohJ.
We can only see each other through mirrors.
.
.
.
I made this when I was bored.
I've been told that this video was scary.

I made these link buttons for people to put on their websites:

Will somebody actually put them on something?
It would be super-cool if my buttons were actually featured somewhere.
So, if you like the blog,
please.
I beg of you.
LINK ME someplace.

In other news...

I watched Orphan (2009) last night for about the umpteenth time.
I wish that Jaume Collet-Serra (the director) had left it open for a sequel by using the original, alternate ending instead of having Esther/Leena die (I'm sorry for not setting off the Spoiler Alert, I actually meant to give away the ending. Sorry to ruin everyone's fun) by getting her neck snapped and drowning in extremely cold water.

I would've loved to see her a) be successful in killing her brother, b) meet the policemen like she does in the alternate ending, play innocent, and go torment somebody else's family.

But no... she ended up dying by the end of the film.
I wonder if that was the director's real and actual decision to have Esther/Leena killed, or if the Hays Code had something to do with it.

I know, nobody abides by the Hays Code anymore.
I wish they could've gotten rid of that before they made The Bad Seed (1956) and kept the original ending in which Rhoda lives instead of getting struck by lightning.
But no... it's the other way around.
I wouldn't have wanted a sequel to it, though.
I didn't want a remake, but we got one anyway.
That was a horrible piece of "film".
Like the 2002 version of Carrie.
And the 1999 sequel to the 1974 version of Carrie wasn't great either.
Not because of the Hays Code, but because it was just. terrible.

Enough about horror movies.
I'm going to leave everyone alone.

LOVE,
AJ

fruit cups in the early morn'.

2010-06-10T00:54:00.000-07:00

In the United States, the USDA stipulates that canned "Fruit cocktail" must contain pears, grapes, cherries, peaches, and pineapples, otherwise it cannot be called fruit cocktail. It should contain fruits in not less nor more than the following percentages:

30% to 50% diced peaches, any yellow variety
25% to 45% diced pears, any variety
6% to 16% diced pineapple, any variety
6% to 20% whole grapes, any seedless variety
little to no cherry halves, any light sweet or artificial red variety
-- Fruit Cocktail, Wikipedia

Gee, that's swell to know. It's a little sad, though... knowing that I can't legally put together my own fruit cocktail and sell it because it HAS to be those percentages of those fruits only.

If I did sell fruit cocktail, it would still have peaches, grapes and pineapples. But, I'd add strawberries and kiwis to it.

But it can't be called fruit cocktail.

It's called Just A Whole Bunch Of Fruits Mingling With Each Other In This Brightly-Colored Can.

Yummy.

I'm going to bed now.

a.j. johnson

you just can't stop the fun.

2010-06-09T13:32:00.000-07:00

(picture from here)

You know, it's gross enough that it comes from animal hooves.
I don't think it really needs to taste like vegetables.
Apparently there were tomato-, seasoned vegetable-, and Italian Salad-flavored varieties of Jell-O as well.
(And what makes the salad blatantly Italian? Is its name Vito Corleone? Does it have an affinity for holding cats?)

I have a cookbook at my house called Kraft's Best-Ever Grilling Recipe Collection, filled with deeeeeeee-licious recipes.
If you can't taste the sarcasm of that last sentence, you need your mouth checked.
Anyway, the recipes all include some kind of Kraft Holdings product.
I say we call it the BIG BOOK OF PRODUCT PLACEMENT.
One recipe that caught my eye was the Hot Dog Wrap Olé.
That's right.

Hot Dog. Wrap. Olé.

The ingredients include:

8 Oscar Mayer Beef Franks or Wieners
8 Flour Tortillas (!!)
8 Kraft American Singles (!!!!!!!!!!!)
Taco Bell Home Originals Thick 'N (shouldn't be N' instead? semantics, semantics) Chunky Salsa
Torn lettuce.

The finished product (I did not make this myself!):

And mind you, this is called a Hot Dog Wrap Olé!
I call it... Hot Dog Wrap Oh No!

I won't even take the time to try to eat one.
It looks like death. In a tortilla.
Sure, half of Taco Bell's "foods" look like death in a tortilla, but I'd RATHER DIE THAT WAY.

Trust me.

To get that disgusting image out of your brain, watch this video of Bingo Crosbyana (1936) and look at my top five favorite songs. 'Kay?

ditties of the day
unus. TWIST BARBIE - SHONEN KNIFE
duo. DROWNING APPOINTMENTS - ENON
tres. STAY MONKEY - JULIE RUIN
quattuor. DEMONS OF LOVE - MIGNON
quinque. SUGAR BOWL - SPEKTRUM

(that's all, folks)

- AJ JOHNSON ^_^

(p.s.: this had to happen)
(p.p.s.: this, this, and this had to happen)

I hate this show.

Black/White

2010-06-05T15:09:00.000-07:00

This post is about Pokémon Black and White Versions
and how I feel about them.

I might say some things that some people may disagree with, so, if you don't like something I said, just... close the window, quickly.

And no, you don't have to come back.

So, when I heard that they were making Pokémon's fifth generation, I was pretty much ecstatic, even though I knew full well it was going to happen someday. However, I'm not too excited anymore because of all the news that's come out about it... and I'm noticing a lot of changes in battle structure/gameplay, in graphics, and in Pokémon design that are borderline unacceptable.

First... the battle structure/gameplay.

Notice that you can actually see the Pokémon's entire body, rather than just half of it.
And they also move during battle. It kind of looks like they're dancing.
I don't care for that at all.
From what I can hear, the music's not that great, either.

Second, the designs (Pokémon-wise):

(Zorua and Zoroark)

(Tsutaaja, Pokabu and Mijumaru)

(Reshiram and Zekrom)

Okay. These are the Pokémon we know about/have known about for a while (especially true for Zorua and Zoroark), and I've got to say, the designs for Zorua and Zoroark are great! Zorua appropriately adorable (for a baby Pokémon), and Zoroark is appropriately badass (for an evolved Pokémon). But, the starters. I think they've just missed the boat on them. I think this because they just don't look like anything to write home about. I would have rather had these guys:

(Frondilo, Kindlejou and Reptide from Pokémon Acanthite [fanmade 5th generation Pokémon])
rather than the starters that Nintendo came out with. Yes, even if they bear some resemblances to Treecko, Vulpix and Quagsire, I'd still want them as starter Pokémon. Finally, the seemingly-ubiquitous Dragon-type legendary Pokémon (Generation 4 had them, so... hey! let's keep going!) just look whack. Just plain whack. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true.One of them looks like it could be a Skarmory evolution, but it's not. It's a legendary. They actually look a little more Digimon-like than anything. That's fine, I just wish they didn't look like confused birds.

Third, the designs (main character-wise):

I've heard that the player characters in these games are actually not kids. They're TEENAGERS. Why in the name of all things bright and beautiful would you change their ages? If they're teenagers, they should be well-seasoned trainers, if anything. This shouldn't be their first time out on their Pokémon journey. I thought they all started at the age of TEN, like they did in generations 1-4!! Not... fifteen. And, they look like Lucas and Dawn grew up, except Lucas grew out his hair and changed his outfit, and Dawn dyed her hair brown and didn't really change her outfit.

Fourth, and lastly, the graphics:

I've got to admit that they're actually nicely done.
I do miss the pseudo-3D-ness of D/P/Pt/HG/SS, though.
I don't know if it's going to be 3D like this for the entire game, but this looks nice.

Of course, I don't know how the game's really going to turn out.
I know that I'm still going to get one of the versions, despite the fact that a lot has changed.
Maybe that's why I'm so critical over what I've seen so far--I'm so used to the usual aesthetics and gameplay of Pokémon that it's hard to accept anything different.

But, after this generation's over... I'm finished.

It's scary to think that this'll be the last generation of Pokémon I'll ever play. Especially after thinking for years I'd be a fan until the day I died.

I must be growing up.

:thoughtful:,
a.j. johnson

forest maze (NES mix)

2010-06-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

I did not make this.
If I did, I would win at life.
Trust me, I don't.
I like the part where Mario runs across the screen.
^_^

(listen to original song here. you won't regret it.)

LOVE,
a.j. johnson

love songs and parasitic males.

2010-06-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

(Triplewart Seadevil, Cryptopsaras couesii)

You know how they say there's many fish in the sea?
I think they're all attached to fish like her, at the moment.
I'll bet all the other ones are going, "HOW DID SHE GET HIM TO STAY LIKE THAT?!"
and have read every magazine about how they can make their men become parasites.
.
.
.
.
.
To me, that doesn't seem too pleasant.
I mean, having a man who's three cm long (or tall, if we're talking about people) living and feeding off of your vital organs (bodily fluids, too) just really does not sound anything near the cat's meow.

And I'm really not making a dirty joke (about the three centimeters long thing feeding off of bodily fluids--just in case you missed that part), because that's how long those male fish are, and that's what parasites do.

Seriously. That doesn't sound fun, at all.

I feel sorry for her.

Just because they exist doesn't mean they always have to be there,
and she (the fish) doesn't even have a choice.
What's worse is that he can't even leave.
If he leaves, he dies.
Terrible.

:sings off-key:

one day we'll live in some tiny apartment
playing Super Mario World
on that SNES I got off eBay
we'd still be paying the million dollars I bid for it
and will be for the rest of our lives
but it's for a good cause, isn't it?
.
.
.
where are you going?

You really, really didn't have to read that.
That was just some "song" I wrote.
I'm not great at it, I know.
Don't rub it in.
My "songs" aren't lotion.

a.j. johnson

(P.S.: THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A SNES FOR SALE ON EBAY!! WITH TWO CONTROLLERS!! AND SUPER MARIO WORLD!! AND IT'S $69.95!! I REALLY WISH I HAD THE MONEY!! I'D BID A MILLION DOLLARS FOR IT RIGHT NOW!! but I won't, you see?)
(P.P.S.: I'd get Mario Paint, too.)
(P.P.P.S.: And Super Mario World 2 -- Yoshi's Island.)
(P.P.P.P.S.: Heck, I'd just be one of those people who have cabinets-full of NES, SNES and N64 games, because I escaped the days of the NES, was barely born during the days of the SNES, and was at the age where I'd rather chew on the controller than actually play the game during the days of the N64. Sad story? I think so.)

:bleep blop bloop:
play with me?

life, death and time.

2010-06-04T23:47:00.000-07:00

Philippe de Champaigne, Vanitas, (c. 1671), Musée de Tessé, Le Mans

I CAN'T SLEEP.
IT'S AN AWFUL FEELING, NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP.
MAYBE I SHOULD TURN OFF THAT I MONSTER STUFF I'VE GOT PLAYING.
(I Monster, "Sunny Delights", NeveroddoreveN, 2003)
AND THE LIGHTS, TOO.
BUT THE MUSIC'S TOO GOOD TO TURN OFF AT ANY TIME.
(NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I SKIPPED AN I MONSTER SONG FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN ACCIDENTALLY SHAKING MY iPod AND MAKING IT SHUFFLE. WHEN I DID THAT, I WAS ANGRY.)
AND DARKNESS AT THIS HOUR JUST DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.
IT SEEMS WRONG, EVEN THOUGH THE SUN HAS BEEN DOWN FOR A LONG TIME AND THE MOON AND STARS ARE OUT.
SO IT'S DARK OUTSIDE, BUT NOT IN MY ROOM.
FUNNY.

I am really, really, really, really, really tired.
But I can't sleep.
Every time I close my eyes, I think of something that makes my eyes pop open.
Maybe it's because I've got a lot on my mind.
Or it's because it's summer and the season is forbidding me from actually sleeping at a timely hour.
(I never did go to bed at 9:00 during the school year, so... that can't be it either.)
Whatever's keeping me from sleeping needs to get hit with an umbrella case.
Now.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I MEAN IT.

(tough) LOVE,
a.j. johnson who is going to sleep, whether the poltergeist likes it or not.

(p.s.: ATHF on DVD? Yes please.)
(p.p.s.: Syringe-shaped necklace filled with candy? Yes please.)
(p.p.p.s.: Bailey's Irish Cream Ice Cream is DISCONTINUED? Noooo. No, thank you.)
(p.p.p.p.s.: formspring.me should be renamed, "Commit Anonymous Acts of Douchebaggery Because That's What You REALLY Do Here.net)
(p.p.p.p.p.s.: lotsa spaghetti)

yayyayyayyay

Minnie the Moocher (1932)

2010-06-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

he took her down
to china town
and showed her how to kick that gong around.

aj johnson

now with five delicious fruity flavors.

2010-06-03T21:34:00.000-07:00

(err.)
(no, really. it's err from ATHF)
(ATHF FTW!)

school is over.
summer is here now.
and for the three months it's going to be here
it's going to be my world.
.
.
.
.
hot dang.

i'm going to miss school now, because there's this red-giant question on my mind right now:

WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE LIVING SIN AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY TIME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I HAVE THREE MONTHS OFF FROM SCHOOL!!!

THAT'S A LOT OF FREAKING TIME!!!

IT'S LIKE A 32 GIG USB FLASHDRIVE!!

THAT'S MORE SPACE THAN YOU REALLY NEED!!!

but see, the good thing about having three months off from school
is that you can use that time not just for studying (because i will be studying this summer, no doubt), but for things you really, really, really want to do.

and it's actually okay if some days you don't want to do a darn thing.

:-)

but, for a few weeks, i have to wait on pins. and. needles. to see how my finals came out.

so my summer will indeed, have its riveting moments as i check the mail constantly (twice in one day, even when i know for certain that it's not there) for a manila envelope that contains my report card.

but it's all good.

my family can't believe that my first year in high school's over... that i'm going to be a sophomore by this september. every time i talk about plans for next year and years to come, they go:

"TENTH GRADE! ELEVENTH! TWELFTH! LORDIE!!" [sic]

let's try to get through tenth grade in one piece.
let's take things one day at a time.
:-)

aj johnson

untitled

2010-06-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

it's over, said and done
i don't know if i've lost
or won
since there's no use crying
over spilt milk
(even if it was
your last glass
from the last cow
on your only farm)
i'm going to clean out
the clutter
and scrub out
the anxiety
and mop up
the fear
in my labyrinthine mind
and then
i'll sit
on pins and needles
thorns and spikes
while eating
cup-o-noodles
and singing
a little song
i'll write back to the folks
on mars
and throw rocks
at movie stars
and then go carousing
at the bars
after wiping up the milk
i've gone and spilled.
if you loved me,
you'd get me a sponge
and a kleenex
because
the mess has been made
and i'm going to cry
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

written by a.j. johnson right after today's biology final was over.
(p.s.: tomorrow, i'm conquering the dragon we know and love called ~~garchomp~~ algebra. i'm not afraid of it.)
(p.s.: last day of school tomorrow. :sigh:, freshman year went by super quick. i'm getting old, and closer to the age where i absolutely have to pay bills and i absolutely have to get a job. and closer to the age where when i mention something from my childhood [i.e.: black Jynx, sour lip smackers, squeez-its, when nickelodeon and the disney channel were actually--LEGITIMATELY good, the beanie-baby craze, g i r l -b a n d s, sprinklins yogurt, etc.], kids won't have a damn clue of what i'm talking about... scary thoughts... like that ghost down there.)

balloon land (1935)

2010-05-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

"now beware, have a care, you're just filled with air. a single pin would rip your skin. and the pin-cushion man in the forest there will rip you if you don't take care."

you can bet that i'll be singing that little ditty all day for the rest of my life almost.

today's playlist:

unus. STARSTRUCK - SANTOGOLD
duo. CHELSEA GIRLS - STEREO TOTAL
tres. SEX IN MY CITY - TERRY POISON
quattuor. OPERATE - PEACHES
quinque. RIQUITA TSOIN TSOIN - SEXY SUSHI
sex. UNTRUST US - CRYSTAL CASTLES
septem. WHITHER THE INVISIBLE BIRDS? - DEERHOOF
octo. INNOCENCE - BJÖRK
novem. DAYDREAM IN BLUE - I MONSTER
decem. FOREVER HEAVY - BLACK MOTH SUPER RAINBOW

related??? :D
who knows.

this is a random day.
then again, what day isn't... for me, anyway?

LOVE,
a.j. johnson

quote of the day:

i like the word, 'par'
sounds onomatopoeic
but it isn't.

--yours truly =]

ik hou van eieren.

2010-05-28T12:26:00.001-07:00

this made me happy.

except i know for a fact that there's nobody that tiny that can actually fit in there.

so nobody can ever get trapped in a paper-towel dispenser.

thank you, OMGsnaps [dot com]!

This has been a very hectic week.
At least two out of five of my finals are over.
(~~HISTORY~~ -> ~~ENGLISH~~ -> LATIN -> SCIENCE -> MATH -> BECOME LIKE RIP VAN WINKLE AND SLEEP FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN!!)
I am thoroughly, thoroughly, thoroughly convinced that my history and English teachers are trying to give us all Carpal Tunnel disease. There was a lot of writing on both of those tests. It hurts to type right now. It feels awful.

But, I've got memorial day coming up.
I'm relaxing a little bit.
Then I've got to get ready for Latin, Science and Math.
Dun dun dun...
After those are over, I'll be stuck waiting on pins and needles to see how I did.

Scary.

In other news...

chicken makes me quiver.

LOVE,
AJ

(ps. RIP, GARY COLEMAN!)

A lawyer with leprosy stole your umbrella. Reached over your shoulder and took your fromunda cheese.

2010-05-19T18:41:00.000-07:00

(title = "Velvet Rabbit" - Kimya Dawson)

(haiku [below] = written by me)

hypocrite weather
first it's sunshine, next it's rain
make up your damn mind.

ANOTHER DAY HAS COME AND GONE!
Woo hoo!

Finals next week.
I'm a little nervous.
But I'm not going to dwell on that, am I?
Heh heh heh...

NO!

I'm beginning to wonder what it would be like if I had my very own television show. I think it'd be called "The A.J. Johnson And Friends Masterpiece Hour", a variety/sketch/real-talk/cartoon/music/pyrotechnics show... complete with segments of...

Maggots Eating Things:

Rotting Things:

Squeaking Things:

The show would probably get the plug pulled on it about 5 minutes into its first broadcast, but still.
It'd be hecka interesting. I'd open every show by saying:

"EVENIN' FOLKS! I STAYED UP PAST MY BED TIME JUST SO WE CAN PLAY TOGETHER!"

Or something.

This week (so far), I learned that...

salt and vinegar chips are like a party in my mouth
pill bugs make good friends until they roll off of your hand and run away before you can catch them
my singing can give people goosebumps
my cat can be vengeful after you step on her by accident (she hasn't talked to me since yesterday)

w00tiew00tiew00tcakes.

I have homework to do.

Bye bye.

LOVE,
AJ

(I want one of these as a pet. Get me one, please.)

funny things, commercials, etc.

2010-05-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

You can tell I'm bored because I'm posting something about funny videos and commercials.
I've got quite a bit to show you.
First up, this:

Mmhm. A 1950's Kool-Aid commercial.
Anyone notice the difference in the way the people talk... so slow and pure... perfect diction?
It's almost heavenly.
It's almost scary.
The jingle reminds me of some horror movie.
(1, 2, Fred's coming for you. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, grab your crucifix...)
And also, when the mother says, "It's good and pure. It has the parents' seal!"
Good and pure, my FOOT!
Does anybody know the actual ingredients of Kool-Aid?
There's got to be a boatload of artificial colors and flavors in there!
AHAHAHA... the hilarity of the '50s.
I guess it had to happen.
Especially the whistling pitcher part. That's pretty ace right there.

Oh yeah.

Crazy Gideon. We miss you.
Okay, at least I do.
I haven't seen your commercials on TV in years.
Come back to Downtown L.A. just so I can see you throw things on national TV!
You're hilarious.
What happened to you?
I know you went out of business, but WHY?!
And that faux-heavy metal in the background is crazy as heck.
Like Crazy Gideon, of course.

Lordie.
Does the person singing this need a Halls after all that?
Probably.
I know I would.
LMFAO.

I can't do this anymore.

Goodnight.

LOVE,
AJ

Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc. Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea. (first post)

2010-05-16T20:28:00.000-07:00

If you don't know what this title means, go here.
Yes, my title is the first few lines of that Numa Numa song.
Yes, I'm bringing back an old joke.
Yes, go ahead and throw rocks.

So, it's my first post.
Not my first blog post EVER in my history
(anyone who's known me since about sixth grade should know that it really isn't)
but, my first blog post ever on my new blog.

So, why'd I change blogs?
Don't know.
Needed a fresh start, I guess.
I got sick of the old one for some reason.
It's still around, you can still read it.
But just understand that I won't be blogging there anymore and I'll be blogging here instead.

w00tie w00tie w00tcakes.

So, these past three days have been extremely hectic as I've been in a show called East of the Sun, West of the Moon, a show about a girl who goes off with a white polar bear in order to make their family as rich as they are poor. It's interesting, a little wonky in terms of plot (how did I turn into a troll? and why is the dad saying that it's the best day of his life when his wife, his two daughters and his two sons DIED when the sun came up?), but it's a fun, fun show.

I get to yell at people.
Wham bam boogie.

I'm actually going to miss it. I know I'm going to miss it almost as much as I miss Little Shop of Horrors. I still cry over that show and the fact that it's all over and done with. Sometimes I sing the songs and I don't realize it.

My friends do.
Tch. >.<
I have two more shows tomorrow and I'm super ready.

After last night's show, one of my friends asked me if I felt like I had just seen a really good movie.

Well, it feels like I was in the really good movie rather than just having seen it.
That's what it feels like to be on stage and have everyone like what you did.

:-)

Anyway, that's all I can really come up with for my first post today.
My brain is fried like an egg.
Until next time, America.

LOVE,
AJ :-)